Dear Past Me

 Dear Past Me. 

Well, I guess we didn't die. 

Yesterday, we turned 32. 

I bet you never thought we would get this far, right? Neither did I. 

And you may ask, are we happy? are successful? was it worth it? 

But honestly, I don't really have an answer. 

Sometimes, we wish we didn't. We wish everything had ended when it was supposed to end so this sorrow and this pain, and this tiredness didn't take control of us. 

Other times, we definitely think it was worth it because of them. The laughs and the smiles and the silly jokes. The adventures, and the drinks, and the late nights. The hugs, and the kisses, and the togetherness.

They are the best part of you, so try to always keep them close. Because they are worth every second we are still here.  


I don't really think it goes away, this feeling of not wanting to be here. That we might have to live with this forever, like our partner demon. 

That the voice in our head saying "Like would be better off without you" it's just going to be a broken record on your mind. 


But you know what?

We are going to keep trying. Because we're stubborn like that. 

Every day, we wake up we are going to try to stay alive, to eat, to drink water and to see the best in the days that are to come. 

And maybe it never really does get better, but we are always going to keep trying.




Until we can't anymore. 

Comentarios

Publicar un comentario

Entradas populares de este blog

Si estoy fuera una cita

  Si esto fuera una cita, te diría que te ves increíble desde el primer momento en que te vea entrar al lugar.  Me acercaría a abrazarte con una sonrisa.  Haría que al abrazo durara una vida entera mientras el olor de tu cabello se impregna en mi ropa.  Si esto fuera una cita, buscaría una manera de mi mano rozara la tuya, constantemente para sentirte cerca.  Te miraría a los ojos, aunque me cuesta mucho trabajo mirar a alguien a los ojos, para hacerte sentir que eres la persona más importante del lugar en el que estemos.  Te escucharía con atención, grabando cada detalle de tu cara y tu sonrisa mientras me cuentas lo que sea.  Te compartiría mi vida, y mis miedos y mis alegrías recientes.  Reiría contigo hasta que me doliera el estómago y la gente de a lado nos viera raro.  Claro, si esto fuera una cita y si tú quisieras que fuera una cita, me acercaría un poco. Para que tu pierna y mi pierna rozaran pero sólo un poco, solo un poquito para s...
Leer más

Last Goodbye.

 It’s the last goodbye, I swear.  Tomorrow I am done with this pain, with this yearning and this cycle that never ends.  We’ll start fresh. From scratch. We’ll learn to start again.  But before anything comes, this is my goodbye.  And not just a goodbye to you, to us. To myself when I was with you.  This is goodbye to what I believed love was,  To what hurt me,  To the crushing pain of trying to fit in and being accepted. This is goodbye to the good times too. To being happy some days.  A goodbye to the laughs, and the tears, and the endless nights.  A goodbye to the concept of what I thought I needed to be,  To fulfill, To dream.  A goodbye to the expectations,  And the stupid romantic ideation of what a relationship must be.  This is a goodbye because this is the last day I will allow myself to feel this.  This is the last day I cry hopelessly thinking of everything I could have done better.  The last day ...
Leer más